Ever wonder ...

Ever wonder if life has taken you on a detour and you're not where you are supposed to be?

I sometimes think that life has distracted me from my purpose. Ever since I can remember, I've always wanted to be a Make-Up Artist. When I was a young girl, I'd have the neighborhood kids over for free makeovers. I loved being creative with make-up and using someone's face as my canvas. I'm not a very creative person or at least I haven't been for many years.

I've always enjoyed putting my creative efforts into my writing. Even so with that, I've put my writing on the back burner too. Why? I'm not sure. I have a passion for writing and I need a creative outlet desperately. This could be why I have felt so restless over the past few years.

Perhaps 'everything happens for a reason' really is true. I suppose that the drive that is building up inside of me is what I've needed to bring the energy to motivate me into change.

I long and envision myself uprooting and moving to California within the next year. I can hardly wait. The school I would like to attend is MUD (MakeUp Designory) in Burbank CA. I look up their website almost regularly and dream of the day this becomes my reality. I lack the financial means to go there today, otherwise I'd be there already. I've never really gone to school (with the exception of an occasional class at the community college) and I don't know the ins and outs of getting myself where I long to be. I feel like such a dork when it comes to looking at how to be admitted as a student in school and what is needed to find the financial aid I lack.

Oddly enough, now that I work as a Financial Aid Officer at ACS (Affiliated Computer Services), one would think that I should be well informed of education and how to become a student eh? Precisely why I feel like such a dork at times. Granted I've learned a lot more than I did only a few months ago... and yet there is still so much to learn.

How is it that for some people this information is easily understood and for some reason I feel like when I ask questions - that I'm getting the "where have you been?" eye stare. Yes, indeed I think I have been on a different planet all these years - DUH! JK.

I read more than the average person though... I've been known to read over 80 books in one year. So it's not that I'm lacking in verse or knowledge per-se, but I would sure like to have the education background and more learning. I crave knowledge and wisdom. I thirst for school textbooks and the words held within them. I want to feast upon the pages and pages of books written by learned men and women.

I've often considered just ordering textbooks and reading from home. I've taught myself much from the computer and have never taken any computer classes except for in elementary years. Some basic knowledge that was given to me at a very young age has been absorbed by my sponge brain... and has helped me with learning on top of that knowledge to know how to find my way around any computer program.

There's a part of me that feels I've missed out on so much schooling/college etc. And yet the other part of me feels the opposite and that I wouldn't be who I am today had I not taken the detours I have in life. I can honestly say I have 'no regrets' in my life and I have gained much wisdom from my many experiences thus far. I suppose it's with that wisdom that I've only desired to have more knowledge upon knowledge to be a better individual. Therefore I am always a seeker of learning.

I've often gazed upon the catalogs of different schools and dream of going to school as a student. One of my biggest challenges is that I am drawn to many topics. I have an interest in almost every topic there is available. I figure that's not a bad thing in the sense that I want to learn all there is to learn which is innumerous. And yet, it puts a barrier in front of me because then I am too indecisive and unsure of which path again to take. So I put it off longer until a decision may be made. Ugh.

As a young girl growing up, I could list many things in which I have often thought about becoming in life. My dreams are endless. Lol. Any teacher I had in elementary school would gladly vouch that I was a bonafide daydreamer. And any of my family or friends will tell you, today I still am. Lol.

I lust after dancing and enjoy the art of it.
Music is harmony to my ears and I feel the rhythms on my skin.
My eyes are fascinated as words leap and skip to a beat on the pages of any book and take me to a different world altogether.

Water soothes my soul as I hear it slither and slash upon rocks and I am inspired by the calmness of wind and a God guiding me to new heights.

Spiritually I am reborn each new day as I feel the beauty among me in nature and animals.

Within my existence I long to create something new and beautiful. Mystery intrigues me and I hope to solve any challenge put before me.

I am enthralled by Einstein and his genius. I am enraptured by his abilities and the life he led. This brings my interest to other geniuses and intellectually gifted people. I am drawn to them and I wonder how they function in the world we live. Socially they are secluded either by their own choice or by circumstances. A question I ponder on occasion. I am fascinated by their being.

Einstein brings me to think of math and how it affects the world and us individually. Math brings my thoughts to Science and I begin to wonder how different things work and operate. How the existence of the world came about. Creation as a whole and independently. Science brings me to Philosophy and why we make the decisions we make in life. Why we live the life we live.

Philosophy brings me to humanity and community. Which then leads me to charity and service. Religion and spirituality.

I also like to think of the anatomy and the brain, and how we were created and how the body functions. How amazing the brain is indeed and that we only use such a small percentage of our brain. What is the other percentage used for and how? Or when?

Back to words, and English... that encourages me to want to learn other languages and cultures. How are we different from other people in other parts of the world? This intrigues my mind. This brings me to think of how am I different and similar to others? I then think of those who are deaf or blind or both. How do they communicate and learn? What is their world like in comparison? Is it that much different or is it pretty much the same?

Why are we so engaged in celebrities and their lives? Why should they matter so much to the public? Aren't they much the same as us? And yet they're different in that their every move is recorded visibly for us to see. And additionally, aren't our moves recorded in the book of Heaven for all to see at a later time? Or is this a falsehood?

And history... does history truly repeat itself? Is it vital for us to learn from those of the past? What could our ancestors teach us?

The list goes on and on... my interests are many indeed.

Welcome to my world. :)