Today was a better day. I'm super pooped so I won't type up a long post tonight. I'll catch y'all up tomorrow ok. I'm off to bed. I did talk with T and all is ok right now. I'm feeling much better.
Wendy, thank you so much for your words of wisdom. How I needed them desperately. I thought long and hard about what you wrote. Thank you for being straight-up with me and bold too. I need that. A good swift kick, though gentle sometimes... tee hee. I mentioned what you said to T and he added a few words too. You gave me a perspective I didn't think about. It's funny because I always thought I have loved myself and off and on... I have. I think I forgot about that important person, me. I started thinking of things I could do for myself and you gave me a path, a direction to go in... thank you for that. I needed it.
I'm also still lugging around all my library books which will be due come Monday... this weekend I plan to get in gear and take a thorough look at them all and decide which ones to renew if necessary and finish a couple of the ones I've been reading.
I have to admit too... though I'd rather not... that I have not been taking my meds for the past week or so. T changes his tone when he hears about it and he stresses the importance of it to me. It's not like I don't know about it... I just hate taking them. I needed to be able to wake early/ not be too tired to go in early for work this week and work long hours. With the meds, the side effects include drowsiness and I get groggy. So I deliberately avoided taking them over the past few days and I should know better. T has seen first hand now what happens when I don't take them. As well as anyone else who has read my blog postings. I tend to get a little freaked out and my thoughts race wildly. I must've texted him what seemed like 50 text messages within the last two days. He knows me pretty well and has learned to put up with me rather well too.
M-girl and Spencer... thank you also... believe me I have in the back of my mind playing like a broken record player the idea of what if I move to TN. I think of it a lot. I just don't want to be any further away from CA. I really want to be in CA. How I would love to be around you and family -yet also I don't know that you'd all really like to allow me to continue living the lifestyle I lead. I drink alcohol on rare occasions, I slip up with an occasional swear word or four... I drink tea sometimes coffee. Though I prefer not to be in the habit of coffee anymore. Aggravates my GERD like crazy and I have awful heartburn issues. But I do like an occasional frapaccino (spell?) etc. I don't know if any of this really matters or not... but I don't want you or anyone to feel any sort of obligation that they have to work on converting me back into the church either. Not that you will or won't... I just don't know.
I love you guys soooooo much. I think I'm ok. At least for the time being, not to mention I haven't had any sleep since Sunday night... what is that now -ummmm... well I've been going since 11am Monday morning... non-stop. And now it's 12:21am Wednesday. Time for me to blow sweet g'nite kisses and wish you all happy pleasant dreams until the next time.
More soon,
Much luv,
Christy :)
6 comments:
we love you for who you are Christy :)
I like your new blog Look!! :) CUTE!!!!
Hi Christy,
Your new blog looks good. I'm glad you're feeling better!
When you go to the library, if you're done or not interested in what you have now, switch for New Earth by Eckhardt Tolle. The yoga peeps are into it, but don't like to admit it because it's a big Oprah thing, part of her bookclub etc. and we want to be more original than that, but I am reading it now and it is actually really good. I think you might enjoy it.
By the way, I agree with Merrianne and Spencer that there's nothing wrong with a little change of scenery sometimes (although running from problems won't solve them, so maybe I'm not in 100% agreement or maybe there is a little bit wrong with too much change of scenery at the wrong time).
You know you have a buddy on the East Coast too. Just a 3 hour drive from NY City, which is sorta like L.A. but cooler.
Good Morning...
Somehow I knew you'd say that M-girl (mwah mwah) ;)
Wendy, that is funny you mention that book, I searched for it at the library last time I was there. I've been wanting to read it since it came out (and not because of Oprah either lol) but because it truly looks like a great read. I've read about it and I'm interested in it. Even more-so now that you mention it. :)
I've always looked at the book in the bookstores or any book sections of stores... and just didn't want to buy it when I thought I'd find it at the library... so I haven't bought it. Then it wasn't available at the library, not yet anyway. I'll check again this weekend. I love your book recommendations girlie. Thank you so much.
You know I've also thought about going to New York for school since the same school in Burbank has a store located in New York. The only thing that kept me from going out there was because I'd be too far from T, and the cost of living... hmmmm... and I'll admit that I even thought about going out there instead. Unsure though because I've never been out there (yah it frightens me a little lol) and I'm very familiar with what to expect in Cali and I'm familiar with the roads and cities out there. It's a thought though and one I still have in the back of my mind too. (M-girl, I'd be a little closer to you guys... hmmm) I just don't know how I'd ever afford it. I'll think about that too.
Hugz,
Christy
(I'm late for work, gotta go... well, not really, but I wanted to go in early again today and tomorrow. Only 4 1/2 more hours of extra time to get the 19hours owed in... since I was out for 3 days last week and I can't afford to not get paid for that, oh the joys of living paycheck to paycheck) :)
Oh yeah, NY is very overwhelming and scary. It's just so big and crowded and busy and WAY EXPENSIVE. It's ridiculous, but the pay is great I hear, if you can get a job there. New Jersey isn't far. Not sure of the cost of living there, but probably pretty high too.
Lol, dang it, I just noticed an error on my part when I mentioned in comment above, regarding another "school" located in NY as well as Burbank (not "store") -sheesh, oops! :)
Yah I have a good friend, Erin, who just moved back here as she had lived in New Jersey temporarily while traveling around different states because her beau's work and all. They were pretty serious and even talked marriage "one-day" and it all fell apart. She ended up coming back here to AZ (and even tho I was sad about the reasons for it, I was super happy to have her back here). UpNote: she's actually seeing someone new from what I heard last. Speaking of which, it's time I give her a call and hook up with her again. That would also give me a chance to ask her about New Jersey. I've seen a couple pix when she lived there... but would like some details. I'll see what she has to say about it.
She's actually from NY. I think Upstate. I know my other friend Laura is from Long Island, and for some reason I think my friend Erin may be from there too. Near Rochester (I think?) I don't know, I may have everything all backwards and totally unsure of exactness. I really think she said Rochester. I don't know if that's anywhere near Long Island or not, but I'll have to double check on all this stuff. LOL ;)
It's surely a fun thought... I just don't know if I'm up for any bigger city-life than the one I'm already in... I prefer a lot more laid back environments... but I also like some hype too. And I love cultural activities/events etc.
More later,
LuvYa,
Christy ;)
Well, let me know when you want to visit anyway.
I'm a big fan of Boston and it's closer... that's where I'm going to school come August... yay!
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