Aaaaaagggggghhhhh!
I just need a moment to vent. Had a big blow out fight with my sister. Seems these fights are more often than not these days.
I'm so tired and worn out of it all. I almost called 9-1-1 at my parents' home when she wouldn't let me leave through the front door. That immediately woke her senses, and she backed off. So I walked out the back door. She, of course, followed me heatedly and insisted on discussing things right then and there. Problem is, she doesn't know how to DISCUSS... she only knows how to yell. I have to yell over her just to be heard. I hate that. I hate yelling. So my nerves were shaking and my blood was boiling.
You know, I guess people really do change as they get older. I don't like who my sister has become as an adult and we continuously butt heads.
I was over at my parents' house to run an errand to Sam's Club with my mom and she had my nephews over so we all went. I told my mom to have my nephew bring his rollerblades with him, so he and I could rollerblade around the block afterwards. Well, that didn't happen because as soon as we arrived back from our errand, my sister was there to pick up the kids. As usual I never get to have any time with them.
Apparently my bro-in-law doesn't want me anywhere near them anyway. He calls me 'psycho' and 'crazy' ... where that came from -I don't know. Personally, anyone who grounds their children for a full year is beyond reasonable. And I'm the crazy one? Maybe this is normal, maybe I am the crazy one because I think that is just too long to ground a child... so be it. I'd surely do things differently though if I were a parent. Granted anyone who has kids may choose to differ and tell me I don't have a clue about anything just because I don't have children. I'll never understand. What? I'm not an adult? I can't have feelings? My mind doesn't work? I can't have thoughts and feelings about how something should be done? I guess not. I'm not a parent. What do I know?
Argh. I think I'll just go and watch my video and take a few deep breaths to relax.
I sure wish things were different in my family. Don't we all sometimes? But it is what it is... and some things will just never change I suppose. I'll always be the black sheep in the family. My ways are different. My views are different and it usually seems all because I left the LDS church. So I'm not involved in the church anymore. It doesn't mean I don't have values and/or standards of my own. Gosh, I'm worn out from all the hostility.
I think I will write a book on it one day. And let the whole family (despite a few family members) hate me while I go to the bank on it. Who knows? Funny how life ends up huh? You know, makes me wonder... am I crazy? Because I have tried for too long to be the darn peacemaker in the family to no avail? What the hell was I thinking? I sure don't know. Please pardon today's venting session. I may come back later for more. :)
Hope your day is much better than mine.
I just need a moment to vent. Had a big blow out fight with my sister. Seems these fights are more often than not these days.
I'm so tired and worn out of it all. I almost called 9-1-1 at my parents' home when she wouldn't let me leave through the front door. That immediately woke her senses, and she backed off. So I walked out the back door. She, of course, followed me heatedly and insisted on discussing things right then and there. Problem is, she doesn't know how to DISCUSS... she only knows how to yell. I have to yell over her just to be heard. I hate that. I hate yelling. So my nerves were shaking and my blood was boiling.
You know, I guess people really do change as they get older. I don't like who my sister has become as an adult and we continuously butt heads.
I was over at my parents' house to run an errand to Sam's Club with my mom and she had my nephews over so we all went. I told my mom to have my nephew bring his rollerblades with him, so he and I could rollerblade around the block afterwards. Well, that didn't happen because as soon as we arrived back from our errand, my sister was there to pick up the kids. As usual I never get to have any time with them.
Apparently my bro-in-law doesn't want me anywhere near them anyway. He calls me 'psycho' and 'crazy' ... where that came from -I don't know. Personally, anyone who grounds their children for a full year is beyond reasonable. And I'm the crazy one? Maybe this is normal, maybe I am the crazy one because I think that is just too long to ground a child... so be it. I'd surely do things differently though if I were a parent. Granted anyone who has kids may choose to differ and tell me I don't have a clue about anything just because I don't have children. I'll never understand. What? I'm not an adult? I can't have feelings? My mind doesn't work? I can't have thoughts and feelings about how something should be done? I guess not. I'm not a parent. What do I know?
Argh. I think I'll just go and watch my video and take a few deep breaths to relax.
I sure wish things were different in my family. Don't we all sometimes? But it is what it is... and some things will just never change I suppose. I'll always be the black sheep in the family. My ways are different. My views are different and it usually seems all because I left the LDS church. So I'm not involved in the church anymore. It doesn't mean I don't have values and/or standards of my own. Gosh, I'm worn out from all the hostility.
I think I will write a book on it one day. And let the whole family (despite a few family members) hate me while I go to the bank on it. Who knows? Funny how life ends up huh? You know, makes me wonder... am I crazy? Because I have tried for too long to be the darn peacemaker in the family to no avail? What the hell was I thinking? I sure don't know. Please pardon today's venting session. I may come back later for more. :)
Hope your day is much better than mine.
2 comments:
Okay, I see now.
By the way, welcome to being the black sheep. It's fun!
By the way, if this is really about not being the church lady, check this out http://www.exmormon.org/.
P.S. Religious knowledge is extremely threatening to most religious people, so while it's good to know and think about yourself. It's not cool to talk about with religious family. That's a great way to start some serious wars. Religion chat is best avoided unless everyone is coming from a logical state of mind and only talking theoritically.
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