Is this mean or what?

Ok so how does one mend a broken heart? Hmmmm? I'm going to look this up online.

I've been feeling kinda down about this.

First of all, who grounds their children for a year? Is this common? My sister grounded her daughters from ANY sleepovers for a year for getting marker on carpet. I say, hello it's carpet and kids are gonna make messes. And how the hell did they get the markers anyway? It's gonna happen -right? Granted this happened while the girls had a friend over for a slumber night. So this is fair to ground them from family too? I personally don't think so. (Ok, this is just me venting here)

And indeed I've asked to see my nieces and nephews often!! Thing is, every single time I've asked to take them somewhere or spend time with them, they're either grounded, have something else going on, or chores. And usually the answer is always the same, grounded or chores or both. Jeesh! I'm the AUNTIE and I work full time for crying out loud. The only time I have available in between other weekends that are busy and full... are an occasional saturday or sunday. And because Sundays are out due to church and family stuff... saturday is the only day I have to ask. And that's only an occasional Saturday. I have a life too people. So, why do I get a tad upset or my feelings hurt whenever I do ask to see them and they're never available? Because this is every occasion I do ask. So what does a person do? I personally stop asking.

So I'm accused of NEEEEVER asking to see them! What the hell is that about? Mouth dropping effect of drama! Jeesh! I can't stand drama. My sister apparently is all about it! Talk about yelling and the whole surprised distorted mouth dropping AHWWW WHAT? Complete denial. And of all things, my parents believe her. I swear they really do see nothing but a halo on her head. The girl can do no wrong. (head shaking in disgust)

I'm not saying I'm an angel or anything because I'm so far from it. But neither is she.

I discovered a friend of mine who had been talking with my sister over the phone and my friend told me that my sister has been talking crap about me and my boyfriend. Naturally I believe it, only because I've heard my sister say things before... and I'm pissed because she's been talking about me and T behind our backs. And honestly, what the hell? She has only seen my boyfriend twice in the last year we've been together. And both times he has either been on chemo or really sick and tired. Due to meds etc. So her comments about him being too mellow are seriously out of line. He was struggling to stay awake the time she did see him. And he continued on to go to her house after a family dinner for my sake since it was my birthday even though he wasn't feeling up for it. (Just because he doesn't sound like a tornado hit the home when arriving as her family does, including her and her husband) So yah, I was disgusted by it. I mean really, the guy was going through cancer treatments, have some respect. She doesn't even know him and already has all these pre-judgements. I sooooo can't stand that when people are so judgemental. Why? What makes them so wonderful in comparison?

And lastly, it was my nephew's birthday June 2nd. I learned that there was a birthday party for him -with family and friends. I was not invited. That hurts. Granted I do not get along with the parents, but I would have liked to have had the choice to attend or not. I am his Auntie and jeesh why does the conflict have to involve the separation of children and family/relatives. It was also admitted that my sister's husband doesn't want me anywhere near the kids. My goodness. And he has left nasty messages on my cell phone calling me 'crazy' and 'psycho'.

I realize I have different viewpoints on things and I've left the church. Just because I live a different lifestyle and choose to find God going a different path, doesn't make me a psycho or crazy person. But oh well.

I'm just sad, lonely and aching from no love in my family. It really hurts. They are walking distance and we have so much anger and hostility. Totally sux.

I am grateful though for my family -my bro and his wife in Tennessee. At least they understand what I go through and where I'm coming from with all the family drama crap. Thank you M-girl for helping me to keep my head on straight at times. It totally means the world to me. {Mwah mwah}

And also for my dear cousin Wendy on the East Coast. You're awesome too! Thank you for caring so much and for being a part of my life. {{Hugz}}

I just needed to vent. Once again. Like I mentioned before, this will be my therapy for awhile.

I needed to get this out somewhere.